I need this. I really need this

Everything is so messy right now. My head, my thoughts, my heart. I thought i could handle it, but is just too much pain, two minds that things in different ways, and even if we try, they always collide. Everyday is being so stressful, so many conflicts... I just don't know what to think... or feel.
I love him... Yes, i do... But the way he thinks just hurts me soooo freaking much. For example, I don't like the way he thinks that drinking is the only way to have good fun. It just makes me so angry, so disgusted. I don't mind he drinks, really, but when I see that he thinks that is the only way he will have fun, i just... argh... i can't even... He thinks I control his life, that I'm the problem. Sometimes I think that too, maybe I am the only problem in his life. In the past week we said to me "it looks like i just can't do nothing!" a few times. Really? It looks like that the only problem in his life it's me. It looks like I am the person who don't let him do the things we like. Eu sinto-me a mais na vida dele. Everything I do or said to him he thinks that is to control him. I just don't know what to do. I really like him, but I can't be with someone who thinks I'm the trouble in his life.
School is starting. Freaking depressing. Please kill me now! Buummm!

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